Ruth's Lifelong Journey Through Depression and Anxiety

“Therapy has been a huge part of my adult life and I am incredibly thankful for the impact it has made. I had a very rough childhood and typically would ignore or dismiss it saying "it wasn't that bad, other people had it way worse". When I was in my early 20’s and realized I didn't like my reactions to things or certain behaviors (i.e. alcohol abuse, financial instability, lack of care for my physical health), I decided to go to therapy and work through some of my issues. I was very nervous to face the traumas I had experienced throughout my life, that I had avoided up until now. But I knew it was the best way to heal and move forward. It made a huge difference in growing up and becoming more of the person I wanted to be. About 5 years later when I was pregnant with my first child I was very afraid of getting post-partum depression since I was prone to depression and anxiety. This time I decided to address it preventatively and went to therapy shortly after my daughter’s birth. I was so glad I did. Counseling helped me with relationship problems, dealing with my hormones and sleepless nights and helped me be an overall better mother. Later, after my third child, out of nowhere I suffered from severe post-partum depression. It was a total surprise and even as a nurse and a third time mom who has suffered from anxiety/ depression my whole life, it took me a couple of months to recognize it was depression. After a few months of therapy and medication I was able to go back to work and be the mom my children needed. Therapy has literally saved my life and enriched it in so many ways.”

We are thankful to Ruth for sharing her story with us, and she hopes it inspires anyone in a similar situation to also stop ignoring and start asking for help.

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Duality: Tara's experience with postpartum depression and anxiety

On the outside, to the world around me, I appeared to be kicking butt at this mom thing. I loved my kids and worked very hard to do the best for them. I breastfed, co-slept, led the local mom’s group, and home made all of the baby food. All of the things I thought I was “supposed” to do to be a good mom. But on the inside, in private, I felt so completely different. I was sad, mourning the loss of my freedom, my body, my time. I was angry, why didn’t anyone help me? I was sleep-deprived and not eating well. Even though everyone told me I was doing great, on the inside I felt like a total failure. Like I was messing up my kids from the very first day…despite my best efforts and intentions. This duality of who I appeared to be to others and how I felt inside led to feeling depressed and also anxious. I was worried about my baby’s safety, worried about how other’s perceived me, worried about messing up…worried about everything. I would cry when no one was looking. I would binge on junk food to try and find some joy. I would body shame myself and engage in very negative self talk. When I mentioned any of this to my mom, sister, or husband, they would tell me what I am feeling is “normal” and I will get over it eventually.

But I didn’t. Not until I finally sought out therapy and got my physical health in order. It really didn’t matter what was going on around me, that wasn’t the problem. I had to address what was going on within myself. I remember my first therapy session when I, for the first time, said out loud to another human how I felt. I mean, I had vented with other new moms before about the woes of parenting, but to my therapist I exposed my deepest, darkest thoughts. This was the beginning of my journey towards feeling like myself again. The “me” that I was before I had babies. Just simply saying what I was feeling and being heard by someone else (someone who had no judgement against me) was so helpful. It allowed me just enough light and healing to then make changes to my lifestyle, to take care of myself. I was able to find the energy to work out a little more often. I had the motivation and desire to engage in social relationships again. I had the discipline to make good food choices. It sounds so simple, I know, but therapy really change my life. I was able to be the woman and the mother and the wife that I so badly wanted to be. It took time, many months, but having my therapist guide me through it was a game changer for me. And I am so grateful for the experience.

**Tara was not a client of Janna Lipka’s. She received counseling elsewhere but was gracious enough to share her story with you. Her kids are now in elementary school and they all are thriving. She says she still visits her therapist here and there to keep up the good work.

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